we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You've changed since you got that strap on
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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