look no pants
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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