YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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