I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Houston, we have a squirter
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize