maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize