Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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