M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
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I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
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She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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