But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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