the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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