why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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