apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize