I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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