Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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