i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize