Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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