at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
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He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
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I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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