I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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