I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize