What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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