U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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