he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
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I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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