There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize