it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
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At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
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One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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