There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize