Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize