Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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