90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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