Will you blow on my dice?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize