just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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