im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize