I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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