Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
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