Nicole vs. Life
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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