Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we're making bets on your personal life
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize