I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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