made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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