Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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