He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
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the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
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I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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