he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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