i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize