4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
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If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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