My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize