Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize