I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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