I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
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Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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