I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize