ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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