I'm gonna have a badass scar
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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