shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's shark week go big or go home
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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