Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
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Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
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You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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